They said if you want to make it big
You have to sleep with the boys
And I said I’d rather not.
They said you have to go to the parties
work the room;
They said go broke entering contests
They said “network!”,
then they said “social network!”
They said you need an Instagram,
They said tweet night or day,
They said use these words, these words
enchant
the algorithm.
They said, Hey! Pay attention! Focus!
(Nibble on stims like a rat)
Numbers, metrics, followers, likes — now analyze! (Like a rat.)
They said become a “personality”
Write Children’s Books, Pornography, Tasteful Romance
They misquoted Voltaire
and said, “Cultivate Your Patreon”
They said podcast! On what? Anything!
They said so many things,
And they’re still talking: “paywall,” “BookTok,” “added value”…
I didn’t do what they said you should do,
if you want to make it big. Instead,
I made it little. So little.
I make little things a lot.
I live so my life is my art.
I search for truth,
(in you, in me, in the way we touch)
I dream quaking stone songs.
I put my heart under light, and study its turns.
I listen to humans’ and other things’ talk —
Except lessons on “how to make it big”
Which forever grumble like a highway roar.
I walk another way: no thank you,
I’d rather not make it big.
I’d rather love all my life and make my little art.
Making Big is a rotting chore.
I was thumbling through my notebook from 2023 where I jotted down all my goals and plans and to-do lists and such. I came across a "work" list. A series of things I felt I needed to be doing consistently with regard to my writing and found that only three of the eight things I was telling myself to do were things I actually enjoyed doing or even WANTED to do. I plan to incorporate this discovery into some kind of New Year's anti-goals post at some point, but for now I wanted to let you know that your poem clicked with me today. For lots of reasons. Thank you for sharing your little art with us, Amy. It makes a big difference in my world. 💜
Right on Amy!