Artificial Amy
In which I spend $5.99 to upload pictures of my face and let "stable diffusion" have its way with my identity
After being duly warned of the dangers, I nonetheless decided to “trust” an AI (or, rather, Lensa, an app that uses AI) with my face — the thing that identifies me to the world, the thing I speak through and look through, the thing that telegraphs some version of my age and genetic makeup and present disposition and so on, with the promise of distorting all of those things and providing something between me and a fantasy of me.
Here are the highlights:
Most of the pictures either made me look much younger or much older — either erasing the face-creases appropriate to a woman of my certain age or exaggerating them to a woman of double my certain age. Needless to say, I left them ol’ crone versions of myself in the app.
This one makes me look like a Pokemon GO avatar. I’m sporty, I’m smiling, I have a backpack full of bulbasaurs. I’m rendered with precision.
Whereas this one looks like an oil painting that was coming along well until the artist tripped and smudged my hair across my face. The AI’s attempt to add makeup colors to me carries the effect that I’m drunk-blushed.
This one just freaks me out. It doesn’t look much like me, and thank God. Because what is that, a little goblin dancer? And why is it holding those two hooks / loops? Are those torture devices? I’m REALLY GLAD that the face in this one looks like 100s of other people and not particularly like me, because honey, it’s cursed.
This one would probably get you to guess my correct age, even though in real life I don’t wear makeup and I do wear glasses and I rarely wear earrings and my hair isn’t red and I never wear t-shirts and I don’t generally have a water bottle blobbed on top of my head.
Depsite the abstractions in the background, and the weirdness with the hair and clothes, I think this one actually looks like me. Since it was based on an actual photo of me, I guess I shouldn’t find that too surprising. And yet, here we are.
Here’s me if I’m half my age and my jawline got super distinct but my hair kind of got caught in a dimension between universes.
I have No Fucking Idea who or what this is supposed to be.
All the signs of age showing, but gotta say, at least in this one my hair looks like hair that’s not trying to star in the next “multiverse” movie. I don’t know what’s behind my head but it gives me the vibe of an old Soviet hammer and sickle. Maybe this is my alternate-self’s ID photo from the universe where the Soviets won?
I don’t know why this photo is the way it is, all I know is I LOVE it, from the weirdly specific earring I don’t own, to the hat that looks like an orange poop emoji missing its face, the melange of things-not-me is a feast for the senses, and clearly “she” is as skeptical of the whole thing as you or I.
I conclude this tour of my AI-generated “selves” with the clear winner: behold the distillation of my very soul, if my very soul were wearing pancake makeup and had plucked its eyebrows into neat lines. I might actually use this one for something. Not sure what yet, but… something.
Wow, I’ve been so tempted but you may have tipped me over. They’re fascinating and I have really no idea what you look like ... imagine what it would be like for someone whose face I know intimately? Thanks for doing this.
I agree. That last one is bueno.